Mother’s Day does not have to hurt

Photo by Joshua Eckstein on Unsplash.

Every year, I struggled during the worship service. I felt alienated, stranded on an island of sentimentality, awash with emotion.

I wondered what on earth I was doing there. Some years I couldn’t take it, and I stayed away from Church. To be childless and unmarried was a double handicap.

The Church, of all places, should be inclusive of races, status, and ages, and yet, it can make confident professional women feel marginalized on Mother’s Day.

The stigma of being middle-aged and single is slowly easing in society. …


I value the people I know

Image by Eye for Ebony

“If you intend to write as truthfully as you can, your days as a member of polite society are numbered.”
Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft

Fortunately, I have escaped that fate so far.

Last week was my mother’s birthday. I celebrated her life as memories of our shared experience flooded my mind. Prompted by them, I wrote a story: “How I accepted my mother and developed a special relationship?”

My mother is dead and the story was meant as a tribute to her and all the mothers who find it difficult to bond with their…


Thank you Don. Your article was beautifully written. You are a fabulous human being because you reached out to your father. That was hard work.

There are countless numbers of people who live out their lives with anger and regret. It is so much easier to accept blame or shame than risk the discomfort of change.

Often it is a temptation to think of the time of distance as a waste. I believe that experience was important to enable you to produce the empathy you showed to your father and towards your children.

I love the acceptance inherent in your description: "He, like all of us, was flawed and fabulous."

What a loving epitaph for a special father.


If only she knew

Photo by Ellen Noon on Unsplash

My mother had the makings of a Victorian lady. Her skirts were not voluminous, but her attitudes and behavior suited that time.

She had nine children when she would have been happy with one. The demands of children and duties of a country pastor’s wife kept her housebound, but she enjoyed the outdoors.

Naturally, she made rules for us. I complied with them as life was easier. It was harder to view conduct through good or bad lenses. Even as a child, I was interested in the different colors of an argument.

When I was six years old, I was…


Love does not wear a uniform

Photo by Photos By Beks on Unsplash

As Mother's Day looms, I’m flooded with memories of my mother. For the greater part of my life, it would have been hard to describe these memories.

Many people, but particularly women, have complex relationships with their mothers. Nancy Friday (1977) in My Mother, My Self voiced the complexity but elaborated on the importance of this bond. In her acknowledgment, she wrote:

“When I stopped seeing my mother with the eyes of a child, I saw the woman who helped me give birth to myself.”

My mother and I were never estranged, but I don’t think that we ever recognized…


I agree that it was a paradigm shift to have a president acknowledge systemic racism.

It is difficult for poor or unemployed struggling white people to believe that or that their skin gives them privilege. It does not mean they are racists.

Unless, this group can understand , then help for black people can be polarising and create a feeling of victimization.

Somehow, I feel that more needs to be done to win hearts and minds-to get folks to believe laws meant to help one group will benefit all groups. We are working towards a perfect union.


Dismantling hurdles is a work in progress

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

I dipped my pen in the inkwell and blotted what I had written. It was laborious and messy. My impatient teacher looked at the messy composition and snapped: “they did not make pen and paper for you.

Of course, the biro made the inkwell redundant before I could even become familiar with the improved fountain pen. Today, five decades later, I often find writing articles laborious and messy. Sometimes, as I struggle with the framing of my thoughts, I hear my teacher’s negative words again.

However, I am encouraged by Neil Gaiman’s injunction: “Start telling the stories that only you…


Voice in training for the task in Hand

Image by The Creative Exchange

The ancient poet Rumi declared that the message behind the words is the voice of the heart.”

Teachers of writing advise new writers to find a niche and a voice. This is difficult, as voices are not in stock in the writers’ world. It is one app that a writer cannot buy.

However, there are benefits to having a distinctive voice. Readers can easily identify the author. The unique voice of writers has survived centuries. Works of Shakespeare, Jane Austen, Dickens, and Shakespeare are still recognizable today.

How does a new writer find her voice? Here is my personal journey.

I used three elements of my life.

1. My occupational and employment history

My past licensures in nursing, midwifery…


Silence from evangelical leaders

Photo by LOGAN WEAVER on Unsplash

Pat Robertson surprises everyone and hits out at police over the shooting of Daunte Wright and death of George Floyd. Conservative televangelist calls police underpaid ‘bunch of clowns’ who are ….”

The Independent, an English paper, thought this comment was newsworthy enough to print for British readers.

When I heard about these comments, I thought it was a prank or misunderstanding. As I could not believe what I heard, I checked the news.

www.foxnews.com › media › pat-Robertson-put-derek chavin in jail

Apr 16, 2021 · Evangelical leader Pat Robertson said Thursday that former Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin, who has…


Silence from evangelical leaders

Photo by LOGAN WEAVER on Unsplash

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/pat-robertson-daunte-wright-police-b...

Pat Robertson surprises everyone and hits out at police over shooting of Daunte Wright and death of George Floyd. Conservative televangelist calls police underpaid ‘bunch of clowns’ who are ….”

The Independent, an English paper, thought this comment was newsworthy enough to print for British readers.

When I heard about these comments, I thought it was a prank or misunderstanding. As I could not believe what I heard, I checked the news.

www.foxnews.com › media › pat-Robertson-put-derek chavin in jail

Apr 16, 2021 · Evangelical leader Pat Robertson said Thursday that former Minneapolis police officer…

Verbieann Hardy

Trying hard to be a Jesus follower. I write about life, spirituality, and relationships as I age with grateful grit. More about me at www.thirdactwriting.com.

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